New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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