are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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