handjob tips. give me some.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
