And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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