There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize