You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
