And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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