8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
