He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
