Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
