The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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