so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
