He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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