Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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