I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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