Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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