you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
