i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
