i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
