the condom got lost in my hair
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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