Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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