There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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