508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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