ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my shit smells like andre
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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