i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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