He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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