She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
