That's intense
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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