Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
