my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
