Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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