Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
