ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
