The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
