they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
