He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
