new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I just sharted jello shots
You left your phone here
Wait...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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