That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
