how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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