It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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