Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
