Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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