So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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