dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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