You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize