Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I feel like abortions should bother me more
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
