so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize