I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
