I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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