My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
