I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
