Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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