summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
