yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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