If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
