No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
