so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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