Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Drunk is not a location!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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