i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want a musical about memes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize